Eminem has always been a provocative artist, lyrically and visually. From taunting other artists to his relentless use of profanity and dark humour, the Detroit emcee undoubtedly has a sharp tongue. However, he rarely goes to war with other artists in a severe capacity.
Still, in a 2014 interview with LA radio personality Big Boy, the lyricist (real name Marshall Mathers) admitted that following his relapse in 2009, he considered writing diss tracks aimed at Lil Wayne, Kanye West and even Drake.
Between 2009 and 2010, while recording his album, Recovery, Mathers confessed that the high quality of music being made by Wayne, Kanye and Drake made him bitter and frustrated beyond belief. In conversation with Big Boy, Em elaborated on how he was operating during that period as he detailed: “I was kind of watching what was going on in the game, and it was like anything that was hot at that moment or anybody who was really killing shit at that moment I felt like—I felt so bad about myself and the music that I was creating, that I felt like I started to turn into a hater.”
The ‘Stan’ rapper has previously admitted that he struggled with parts of the creative process that once came so naturally to him following his relapse. In his confession, Mathers explained how it wasn’t just Kanye and Wayne who annoyed him but everyone in the culture that was succeeding in some capacity.
In an attempt to clarify his then-mindset, the musician continued: “It wasn’t just—you know, singling Kanye and Wayne out at that period, I mean, they were the ones who were the killing it the most to me. And it hurt. I’d pop the CD in and be like, ‘Fuck man, I’m not doing this no more.’ I felt like I came very close to, like…for me, it would have been career suicide because I felt like, ‘I should make a song just dissing everybody who’s doing in it the game right now!’”
The Detroit act even admitted to his toxic thoughts on the track ‘Talkin 2 Myself,’ which appeared on his 2010 album Recovery. During the song, he raps, “Hatred was flowing through my veins, on the verge of going insane / I almost made a song dissing Lil Wayne.” During the conversation, Big Boy asked the entertainer if he ever acted upon his urges by penning explicit lyrics about Kanye, Wayne or Drake.
However, Mathers insisted he hadn’t, revealing: “I just had the thoughts, just walking around the studio. I think that deep down, I just wasn’t happy with myself, man. I knew that there were some really dark moments in there. When I think about how my thought process was when I was high a lot, it wasn’t good, man, and it certainly wasn’t me ’cause I’m not even that kind of person.”
Mathers has always been open about his abuse of prescription drugs, including Valium, Vicodin and Xanax. However, he noted that things were terrible between 2006 and 2009 for him. During the conversation, Big Boy asked the artist whether this contributed to his insecurity and self-doubt, to which he responded, During that time period, I couldn’t see myself even being able to do anything sober: talk to people, have a conversation, go to the studio, record, watch movies. I couldn’t do anything without being high. It was to the point that I was taking pills just not to feel sick.”
It benefitted Eminem in the long run not to diss Lil Wayne, as shortly after recording ‘Talkin 2 Myself,’ he ended up collaborating with Lil Wayne for his hit track ‘Drop The World.’ Unbeknownst to many, Eminem’s hitlist was derived from a Drake track he featured on while struggling with his relapse entitled ‘Forever’, which also included verses from Kanye West and Lil Wayne.
You can listen to the Encore rapper’s interview with Big Boy in the video below.
